Celebrating Grandparents Day 2023 & The Grandparent Advantage

By Donna Butts, Executive Director, Generations United

“Today, people are so disconnected that they feel they are blades of grass, but when they know who their grandparents and great-grandparents were, they become trees, they have roots, they can no longer be mowed down.” — Maya Anglelou

Get ready, it’s time to “Do Something Grand” on Grandparents Day coming September 10, 2023. Celebrated each year on the first Sunday following Labor Day, it was a little-known holiday until 2012 when Generations United began spearheading an annual campaign to encourage people of all ages to engage with or on behalf of another generation not just send a card. In addition to a call to Do Something Grand, this year Generations United and others are shining a spotlight on the concept of the grandparent advantage.

Older adults, related or not, have always played a significant, but often overlooked, role in supporting families. This “grandparent advantage” — the ability to recycle human knowledge, understanding, culture, and experience — benefits future generations and is essential to maintaining strong, healthy families and communities.

The grandparent advantage is demonstrated in many ways. We can look at it as a continuum measured by the degree to which grandparents are involved in family life. The range runs from older adults who may have occasional contact with children and youth to those who offer some childcare and/or financial assistance or those who provide a roof and full-time care, acting as parents in a skipped generation household. The grandparent advantage also illustrates the reciprocity that is intrinsic to intergenerational programs that connect unrelated older and younger generations and have been proven to reap a multitude of benefits for all ages.

There are an estimated 70 million grandparents in the United States today. In 2021, 71 percent of people 65 or older were grandparents. With the number of older adults increasing around the globe, we have an incredible opportunity to strengthen communities and families through intergenerational solutions.

Intergenerational programs play an important role in promoting intergenerational solidarity in families and communities. Research in Singapore found that they provide a platform for developing positive relationships across age groups and have been shown to strengthen the quality of ties between family members. A study in Europe found that younger people engaged in intergenerational programs showed more interest in the older members of their own families.

The recent Global Intergenerational Conference opened with two panels offering testimony to the grandparent advantage.

One featured two grandmothers and an aunt and the grandchildren and niece they are raising. Gifted photographer and storyteller Annie Levy worked with grandfamilies to create a new traveling exhibit, What Is/What Can Be, seeing the world through the eyes of grandfamilies. The exhibit features photographs and drawings about challenges faced — specifically about food insecurity and mental health — and futures envisioned. The panelists explained the images they created for the exhibit. One grandmother, Bette Hoxie from Maine, offered a powerful photograph of a beautifully set dining table with no food. The caption read “Too much month at the end of the groceries.”

Her 10-year-old grandson shared his drawing of a rocket going to the moon and a sports car. He explained he wanted to be an astronaut with a Lamborghini. When his grandmother told him they were expensive cars, he figured he’d need to go to the moon three times to be able to make enough money to afford the car.

The other panel, Grandparents and Grandfriends — Pillars in Families and Communities, discussed the impact grandparents and other older adults play in the lives of children. The panel featured proud parents and grandparents moderated by father of three and “PaPa” or grandfather to five, Juan Williams, Joy Thomas Moore, mother of three including Maryland Governor Wes Moore and grandmother to two, and Pam Smith, mother of four, including former National Football League (NFL) quarterback Alex Smith, and grandmother of 10.

Pam explained how she connected her children with older adults when they were growing up since they didn’t live near their grandparents. This included 104-year-old Jesse who left a lasting impression and led her son Alex to do his high school service-learning volunteer work in an intergenerational program. Later, after he signed with the NFL, he started a foundation that supports young people aging out of foster care pursuing college degrees and includes older adult mentors for each of the students.

Joy described how her parents stepped in after her husband’s sudden death and helped her, a single working mother, raise her three children. Her children were very close to their grandparents. One of her indelible memories is of her mother casting her vote for her grandson Wes shortly before she died. She shared a picture of Wes hugging his grandmother after her vote.

Both grandmothers talked about the importance of sharing experiences, not material goods, with their grandchildren. Family outings, overnight stays and vacations, campouts in the backyard, cooking together, and creative arts all featured prominently in their families.

Pam shared how one of her grandchildren asked “Do you think when we have kids our parents will do this for them? I know I’m going to when I have grandchildren.”

The grandparent advantage — the gift grandparents AND grandfriends give the next generation — provides younger generations not just knowledge but purpose, peace, hope, and roots.

To learn more about how you can Do Something Grand for Grandparents Day go to https://grandparentsday.org/